Sunday, August 09, 2009

Sick Afternoon

I'm sick and I've camped on our couch all day. This morning, my industrious husband left to go to work (on a Sunday!) and I cried, "You're leaving?!" in a voice high enough to sound like helium. Give me a little cold (thanks, Katie!) and I become a petit bebe.

He made me soup, which I helium-cried for, and I've just finished it at 5 pm. On the table in front of me: many snotty tissues, Vitamin C that I haven't touched and the empty soup bowl plus half a chocolate bar. I am disgusting.

I often muse aloud that I wish I could get sick (I am normally so healthy it hurts) because it's an enforced time-out. Truth is, when you're left to your own devices and your head hurts too much to concentrate on actual work, you will find out who you really are.

I just spent all afternoon watching SYTYCD (research for a story I'm writing - no really), Intervention (back-to-back-to-back) and Googled daggering stories ("broken penis" "sky daggering" "daggering injury") after watching a Major Lazer video and swinging from love to hate to love/hate and then to just plain headache territory (my overall, bigger-picture verdict: Jamaica, you can't ban ideas, so why bother banning songs that mention daggering? Is it just that injuries are up? The way I see it is that if you jump on a girl from an elevated surface, maybe you deserve a broken willy).

More thoughts, since I have spent hours just gazing in to space, thinking about it: Daggering is exactly what the rest of the world looks to Jamaica for, the kind of raw, sexy and dangerous art that comes out of truly impoverished ghettoes, the kind of art that somehow defies hunger and logic. Also, you feel like a prig for being having a concerned reaction, a quiet "NO!" when you see sky daggering but really, miming closed-fist punching at :48? No thanks. I don't care how funny and hipster Eric and Diplo are - having a sense of humour doesn't need to include beating a lady in the face.

In conclusion, if you don't move all day and surround yourself with PVR and internet hook-up, you will see how you truly like to fill your headspace. I am retreating into a weird place that is a combo of inner world and everything-at-my-fingertips. That's Google for you. I may as well be high. No wonder randomness is the most defining aspect of our generation.

If you'll excuse me, I PVR'ed Caddyshack and I've never seen it. So now you know how I will spend the next few hours until my husband comes home to find me passed out on the couch, at which point I'll be able to baby-whine for more desired food items. A toute a l'heure, mes amis.


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